I made it...Third Trimester, it's official

DISCLAIMER: This blog is meant to be sarcastic and not angry. I feel like I should mention that so no one thinks I'm being pissy.

Today marks the official beginning to the end of pregnancy for me. I reached the third trimester today, at least according to some of the baby book experts. According to my calculations, 40 weeks divided by 3 is approximately 13 apiece, with one extra week. Therefore, I'm doing it. I am making the leap. Besides, it's harder to sleep, my ankles get puffy by midday, and it's hard to tie my shoes. Isn't that really what the third trimester is all about? Other symptoms include extreme absent mindedness, baby kicks to organs I've never felt before, and hip pains that wake me up in the dead of night. The peeing hasn't ever stopped, at least 2 trips in the nighttime.

I feel a little slighted with this pregnancy. I mean, no huge boobs, no beautiful glowy skin or nails, I mean what's up with that? Although, no morning sickness, no puffy face or skin conditions. I think I'm the annoying preggo who sports a basketball under her shirt. The nurse yesterday told me that I was too cute. She did that after she weighed me, so that's probably not terrible. So, I'll take the small boobs, after all, at least I don't have to wear two sports bras (sorry to the person who told me she did, I feel for you).

And, miraculously, no belly touchers yet. I have yet to smack some little old lady because she felt my belly.

Have I mentioned yet that I'm absent minded? It sort of relates to my rambling plot.

Moving in

So I think we're as moved in as we can be. We moved in to a bigger house than we're used to so there's lots of empty space at the moment. Not much else to report other than I updated my belly shot today so you can scroll down to that post to check it out. You could say that I've definitely popped.

Moving update--in progress

I don't really have a way to update pictures at this point but if anyone wants an update on the move progress, here it is. We moved out of the house on Wednesday July 23. We sold the house officially on the 25th of July. Hung out on base, which is always entertaining, over the weekend. Tuesday July 29 we let a fat redneck named Chad put our car on a truck to ship to Las Vegas. One of the first things he said was, if I drive through a hailstorm and the car gets beat up, it's not my fault. Always nice to hear.

Ben had his last flight yesterday with his squadron. I've never been to this deal before but they hose him down while he's getting off the plane. I've never seen Ben run that fast, it was highly entertaining. If the battery hadn't died, that video would be up on YouTube.

As for me, I am attempting to work the rest of the week until Thursday afternoon, when we leave for Las Vegas. Trying to do anything unrelated to the military on a military installation is a lesson in futility. The wireless internet went out shortly after we arrived on base, due to "large downloads" from some unknown party. Can anyone say internet porn?? Then I went to the library, which does have a fast connection, but the added pitfall of lots of kids. I have listened to several meltdowns by several kids. When you tell people that you work remotely, they think Mary Kay. I heart the AF.

Also, is it bad when your boss tells you that you sound tired on a conference call?? I've heard that I need a nap several times this week. I miss being able to be at work where people think it's funny when I'm bitchy. So it goes. I'll update if anything else truly interesting happens along the way.

That's it for me, Bitchy McBitcherson. More info to come...

House hunting in the Vegas

First day highlights: We got to see how the other have live. We saw the Summerlin area on the first day. Summerlin has all of the good stuff that you could hope for, shopping, restaurants, parks, all that yuppie goodness. Except that it's truly impossible to buy a house there unless you have serious money. I know what people say about the market, but take out short sales and other sketchy real estate practices, and you're left with...not much. We saw a good house in a very good location, but it backed to a busy street. We went into a house that smelled very strongly like cat pee, a spa that had green slime growing in it, and a pool with all of the doors punched in with an air hockey table as an added bonus. All in all, we were not very optimistic about finding anything where we wouldn't have to spend $20K right off the bat to make it liveable.

Second day: Centennial Hills and North Las Vegas. Right now this area borders on the middle of nowhere but it is much closer to the base for Ben and has the stuff I'd need on a daily basis so as to not go crazy. We saw quite a few good houses, one ridiculous house that apparently had already sold when we looked at it, and our backup house in Club Aliante. We also saw one house that I fell in love with because of the backyard pool and upgraded inside. This was the house I was going to fight for...except as we were leaving Ben looked up and said, Did you see those high tension power lines? Oh crap. It's never a good sign when the realtor says, You know, there's no solid data either way that power lines like that cause cancer. I think I might have to jump off of a bridge if I gave poor lil' Tupac cancer before she was out of the womb.

Little did we know that after the house hunt was over that the fun would begin. Later that afternoon on the Fourth of July, we found out that a pretty decent house had just come up for sale in Club Aliante, our preferred neighborhood in the area. So we got excited. Then, at 7:45 in the morning of the 5th, we found out that the house we originally put in an offer on had popped back up. This one is still a short sale, which equals sketchy, but the people who outbid us originally backed out literally a day before they were supposed to close. Which means that we, the lowly backup offer, now have a shot. This house is nice, upgraded stuff, good insulation, and the small backyard (They are all small fyi) overlooks the golf course. The golf course gives way to views of the mountains, so that's a plus.

So this should be the week we find out if we have a house somewhere in Las Vegas. So when you visit and people tell you they're giving away houses in Las Vegas there are so many, please, for me, punch them in the face. 90% of houses are short sales. Less than 10% of short sales work out FYI.

If you'd like to see pictures of this adventure, please visit our Flickr site at
http://flickr.com/photos/63633934@N00/sets/72157606009876156/

It's a ....(spoiler alert)

So we are having a baby girl. No surprise to people who have heard the rumors about pilots making girls left and right. I don't know what the radar does to them. We are very happy and included the ultrasound pictures below. We are well aware that they are hard to read and the one with the baby facing front looks like we have created some kind of demon spawn. But, what do you want? She's not done yet.

Click on the picture to see a bigger version. It's the only way you'll see anything good.

This is the money shot, and oh yes, that's her mooning us. Also, a little creepy that we have a picture of an arrow pointing at our baby's whoo hoo (I'm practicing to make up words for giggly body parts).



This is the demon-like picture. If you look really closely, in one of them you can see a creepy ghostly grin. And I also know I shouldn't talk about my baby that way.

News soon to come

I haven't yet been able to tell everyone that I wanted to tell in my immediate family so the big news will have to wait. What is this big news? Ben and I changed our minds about finding out the sex of the baby. We decided this morning, the day of the big ultrasound, that we wanted to know after all. This is mostly just a teaser post and soon you'll know what we're expecting.

But I will say that the ultrasound was really fun, and the next post will have a couple of pics, although the baby looks demonic in a one of them. You'll see when you see the pictures. We also got a DVD which I have not seen yet, and will try to post a part of on the blog. In case you're curious, if you're not, you aren't forced to look at it. Chances are, I wouldn't really want to see your baby ultrasound video either, so don't feel bad.

Pregnant belly shots-view at your own risk

So I am going to try and start documenting the belly progress. I started at 15 weeks, mostly because I never thought about taking a "Before" shot and I don't appear to have any to show. So hopefully I will remember to document the progress of Baby Heslin.

15 Weeks


17 Weeks



19 almost 20 weeks



26 1/2 weeks

Trip to Sunnyvale CA

I should start by saying that I like my job. We get to do some cool stuff and the work isn't terrible either. I flew out to Sunnyvale the first week of June to meet my new group, who seem to be pretty great. The last day I was there we did an off-site team building thing. I didn't have to tie rope or build a bridge, but we did go to a place called the Mystery Spot.



Something about weird gravitational forces that cause people and buildings to lean towards the center of this spot. I dunno if it's fake or not but it did make me dizzy and sort of sick to my stomach. After that we went to a restaurant on the beach in Santa Cruz. That was probably the highlight of my trip.

Baby pictures

I've been a bit neglectful on the baby front, mostly because there's not much to report. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday where I "had" to have a sonogram because my uterus is tipped so far that they couldn't find a heartbeat using a handheld doppler. I was fine with that since it meant I got another picture. No one said anything about weight so I am assuming I'm doing ok with it. I'm allowed to play volleyball for the time being.

I don't know if all baby docs are like this guy, but he didn't even sit down, just walked around the ultrasound room and didn't say much. I got the feeling I was making him late for a golf game or something. A little annoying though, I was in a compromising position in the ultrasound room, you know, the kind with the sheet over my "lady bits", and he proceeded to walk right over and stand in front of me. What the eff doc!!! It reminded me of that episode of Friends, as all things seem to do, when Rachel kept telling Ross to stay at her head and not travel downward.

Anyway, enjoy the pictures, I posted both of the ones that I have.

The first one is the baby a month ago, at around 10 weeks.



This one is from yesterday, almost 14 weeks.

First Doctor's Appointment

The first doc appointment isn't really the same as the others. I had the routine "woman" stuff done and they drew a bunch of blood. Apparently at the others they berate me about any weight gain and I have to pee in a cup. Only joking about the weight gain, but I received explicit instructions on how to pee in a cup. I wouldn't have thought them necessary but maybe I'm not the lowest common denominator.

Next week I'm scheduled to go back so they can use a doppler to hear the baby's heartbeat and determine my real due date. Right now, it's somewhere between Nov 21-29. I was actually kind of glad that I couldn't help them with that though, because otherwise they wouldn't have been able to do the doppler-sonogram thing. Our insurance is super cheap and normally only pay for one of these per pregnancy, but they deemed this one medically necessary. Pretty exciting, they were going to try to do it today, but my body was uncooperative.

Other than that, I got some free magazines and some kind of free baby planner that I won't use. No copy of What to Expect...I sort of thought they'd give me one. That's alright though, I think I'll live. That's it though, I wish I had a more exciting story, but then if I didn't, something would probably be wrong.

Busted at Babies R Us

Not much new to report on the baby front. Only that I can finally fill out my bra. That's kind of nice. Anyway, Ben and I went to Babies R Us today to look around, mostly because I figured that we should start looking at this stuff now. Reasons for this: 1) Ben will need to go back and look at everything at least 2 more times in addition to online research and 2) We'll get busy with the move and then panic at the thought of filling a nursery with baby stuff.

So we walked around, I was totally puzzled at the whole car seat and stroller thing; you can do the combo package and be one of those warriors who walk around expecting people to move out of your way or they'll bang into you and look at you like it's your fault. There are way too many choices and the more I was in there the more confused I got. I can't possibly have been the only one; they do seminars on buying a car seat.

But I got busted walking out of the store. As we were leaving, a guy who I had seen walking around the store, but otherwise did not recognize, asks, hey don't you work at NetApp??? Um, yes I do, you do too then? So I have a feeling that now the whole place will know that I'm pregnant. I found this interesting mostly because he recognized me enough to ask, or clarify rather, that I worked at the same place as he did. I've NEVER seen him before, or least I don't remember seeing him before. I can't recall working anywhere where people knew who I was and I had no idea who they were. Maybe it's working with all men, I dunno.

Best Day Ever

Thursday March 20, 2008

This was the day that Ben and I found out that I'm pregnant, or we're pregnant, whatever. I don't know how that works. Anyway, I got the blood test back and it was positive. So I made it the hour home in order to start calling people. I called my mom and she was really happy. Actually everyone was really happy. My sister Nanner had the best reaction on my side, just because she screamed and her voice went up a few octaves. It's really not fair to Cindy since I got her at work. But the best reaction by far was Ben's mom. She did not believe Ben when he called. I sat and listened because I knew it would be good, or at least interesting. We really weren't sure if she'd be happy or sad that we were moving before it happens, but she was so happy. I think it's the best thing that happened to her in a long time. I gotta say though, I think that may have been one of the best things about being pregnant, telling people the good news. I hope that I always remember the day, because it's the best one I've had by a mile in a long time.

101 update 2/18/08

8. Play in grass/sand volleyball tournament--Did both and several times last summer. I will do this again in May when it starts up again.

15. Go snorkeling--Done on the cruise while in Cozumel and in Nassau. I loved it and want to do it again and again.

20. Buy pair of designer jeans or handbag. Did both and developed a crush on Joe's Jeans. Love em, bought another pair today.

25. Grow my hair to shoulder length. It is amazing what I thought to put on my list, but this one is done, mostly so I can put it back up again.

33. Cruise to the Caribbean--Hated the cruise for the most part but at least now I know. Parts were great, but being herded on and off the ship--annoying.

51. Get a good paying job in my field--Oh the irony!! I have a great technical writing job which I will soon leave. Damn you 101 list!!

55. Professional writing certificate--Don't have the certificate yet but I finished it. Woot woot!!

66. Learn to like sushi. I am still trying and will continue to try. This one may be undoable.

76. See an AVP tournament game. I saw one in Chicago, the semi-finals. I'll probably get to see more in Vegas.

85. Carve an intricate pumpkin. It didn't look great but I think it qualifies. I did spend a few hours on it and had to use a special tool. See below...



90. Replace all old lamps in the house. Ben actually did this for me but it's still done.

95. Repaint the kitchen. Again, I didn't actually do this one, but I delegated?? Thank you Kathy and Charlie!

96. Repaint the half bath. Ditto numero 95.

98. Cultivate an herb garden. I grew all of the herbs that I was given. Thank you Cindy, they grew, I used them and then the drought killed them all. Maybe this spring they'll grow back.

101. Organize the closets, throw out stuff we don't use. Did this and donated anything salvageable to Goodwill.

Without realizing it, I'm doing pretty good!

Ha Ha...Suckers

So I didn't put up a tree this year. I didn't put up any ornaments or decorations, I couldn't even manage a wreath. So the whole month of December I felt guilty for being the Grinch in my oddly Stepford-y neighborhood. I walked the dog and saw every variation of lawn oddities, the blow up snowmen, the lighted choo-choo trains, the manger scenes, and of course the life size reindeer. Last year Ben and I were tempted to arrange the reindeer into compromising positions; this year it only occurred to me once.

I felt fairly depressed the entire month. And then came January. It was a beautiful day and again, I was walking my dog. What do I see but more than one irritated husband (it's the South after all) taking down all of the Christmas lights, the lawn decorations, the bows and the garlands. I walked by the carcasses of poor Christmas trees waiting to meet their official end. And I was smug. I didn't have to open the door to my attic, lug boxes up and down stairs, climb up on a step stool to take down the star at the top of the tree. I just kept walking and feeling good. I smiled at the poor beaten down husbands who weren't out playing golf or watching football. He he. I need my small victories.

And then...I went to Target and all of their Christmas stuff was 75% off. I bought bows and ribbon and wrapping paper. Now I can't wait for next Christmas. But really only because I got a bag of wrapping bows for 24 cents. Ah, the circle of life.